...the pilgrim learns through the telling of his own tale. Each man 's identity [emerges from] the myths, rituals, and. . . legends of his culture, compounded with the epic of his own personal history...The paradoxical...power and vulnerability, which make a man most human, rests on his knowing who he is right now, because he can remember who he has been, and because he knows who he hopes to become...each man must work at telling his own story if he is to. . . reclaim his personal identity.
—Sheldon B. Kopp



I. The Call

II. Departure/Entry

III. The One Guide

IV. Trial

V. Passage

VI. Return

VII. Home



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I. What am I allowed/entitled to?
By gradually learning to recognize, accept, and even trust, my gifts and my weaknesses, how will what I now feel about my own power change?


"Who are you really, wanderer?"--
and the answer you have to give
no matter how dark and cold
the world around you, is:
"Maybe I'm a king."
—William Stafford
Humility is just as much the opposite of self abasement as it is of self exaltation.
—Dag Hammerskjold
The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.
—Max Lerner
Strength comes from self-connectedness.
—John Bradshaw
Nobody can give you freedom.
Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you're a man, you take it.
—Malcolm X

II. How aware am I that my own inner feelings really determine what I believe about myself, other people, and what happens?
Can I name the underlying feelings within me that really lead me to think, say, or do even the most usual things of every day?


Others triggered us by their actions but the interpretation was our own. The consequent feeling was not caused by others' behavior...They are accountable for setting a process in motion but not for the final feeling. That is our responsibility alone.
—David Richo
The images we invent
could change into wild beasts
and tear us to pieces!
tr. C. Barks
If only I could throw away the urge
to trace my patterns in your heart
I could really see you.
—David Brandon
All seems infected that th'infected spy.
All things look yellow to the jaundiced eye.
—Alexander Pope

III. Can I accept each of my feelings, no matter how positively or negatively I, or other people, judge it?
Can I also name the real, deeper need or needs each of my feelings actually aims to care for?
What gods in me create each feeling?


The true teacher...
...is the one who is
At home. He sits in my chair
Calmly;...He loves to feel
His own body around him;
He does not leave his house.
—Francisco Albanez
tr. R. Bly
Only after painfully experiencing and accepting our own truth can we be...free...
—Alice Miller
Good and bad are in my heart
But I cannot tell to you--
For they never are apart--
Which is better of the two...
       So I shelter love and hate
       Like twin brothers in a nest;
       Lest I find when it's too late,
       That the other was the best.
—James Stephens
We...destroy ourselves by violence masquerading as love.
—R.D. Laing
"Honesty" without compassion and understanding is not honest, but subtle hostility.
—Rose N. Franzblau

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